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Michael B. Jordan is often called one of the best looking men in Hollywood, so it’s no surprise that Miss Pat couldn’t take her eyes off of him when she noticed him on the cover of a copy of Essence magazine.

“I never slept with a man shaped like this,” she said pointing at his picture. While she was counting Jordan’s abs she realized, “I ain’t never seen my husband’s navel!” As a matter of fact looking at Jordan she said, she didn’t even know what her husband looked like anymore.

Miss Pat is performing this weekend at the Arlington Improv in Dallas. At her show she’ll “talk about some real stuff.” Like how she’s “at the age where you can’t leave the house without a panty liner,” and of course Jussie Smollett.

Smollett really “should have talked to R. Kelly about how to commit a crime in Chicago and get away with it. He’s been doing it for about 30 years,” she said.

But she wishes him well saying she hopes he makes “a comeback like crack,” and she’s praying for him.


Miss Pat Has Never Seen Her Husband’s Belly Button  was originally published on