Even though the #MeToo movement started in the movie business, then made its way over to politics, we all knew at some point it would inevitably hit the music biz. It doesn’t begin or unfortunately end with Russell Simmons though, a sad fact that pop queen Lady Gaga brought to light recently after making a shocking revelation that she was raped and left pregnant at 19 years old by an unnamed producer.
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The Oscar-winning singer/actress detailed the ordeal for the premiere episode of a new docuseries titled The Me You Can’t See by Oprah and Prince Harry. According to CNN, the show will aim to dispel the stigma surrounding mental health, something Gaga herself has been a huge advocate for in the past. Recounting the tale in tears, the Born This Way singer describes how the producer used the threat of burning her music files as a way to coerce her into taking off her clothes, with Gaga saying, “I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off.’” She continued by adding, “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and then I just froze and I just … I don’t even remember.”
Another part that is sure to raise questions is Gaga’s decision to not name her attacker, explaining her silence by stating, “I understand this #MeToo movement, I understand that some others feel really comfortable with this, and I do not, I do not ever want to face that person again. This system is so abusive, it’s so dangerous.” The mental health part came into play through chronic pain caused by PTSD she was diagnosed with years later.
The singer’s recollection of her experience is triggering to read, so take a minute if you need to before continuing on with the quote below by way of CNN:
“First, I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. Then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after,” she explained. “And I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner, at my parents’ house, because I was vomiting, and sick. Because I’d been being abused, I was locked away in a studio for months.”
“The way that I feel when I feel pain is how I felt after I was raped,” she said. “I’ve had so many MRIs and scans. They don’t find nothing, but your body remembers.”
All of her trauma and suffering lead to a full on breakdown, which she said took years to recover from.
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl,” she said.
If you recall, during that period — which was around 2018 to 2019 — she canceled a string of concert dates on her Joanne World Tour.
Even at the age of 35, Lady Gaga is still in the healing process from the pain she experienced. She describes it as a “a slow rise,” further explaining, “Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad. And when I say feel bad, I mean want to cut, think about dying, wondering if I’m ever gonna do it.”
We send nothing but love and well wishes to Lady Gaga for everything she went through, for her courage to push forward and for having the strength overall to be visible with her story.
Gaga’s episode of The Me You Can’t See, along with others from Season 1, are streaming right now on Apple TV+.